Hey thats great Jeff! T will be happy! (I'm yet to order mine).
I'm glad to hear that the VA plan was kind of your sons and also that its probably not happening anyway. I am like yuo, I dont get mad really.. but one thing that did strike me is, you just didnt say anything at all to your W.. like you didnt react, in the moment.. you waited. I wondered if this was a DB thing, or, if you arent a little afraid of your W!? You could have just turned round and asked her straight away, not even get angry, but just some open communication? (I've asked you about this before!)
Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
(((((Ali))))) I have to admit that there are time when I have been "afraid" of my W, but this time wasn't one of them. The real focus in the conversation was on S14's education, not on the second house, or any of that, really. Since I really didn't know what was going on on that side of it, I validated on the education side, which is a large concern, anyway.
Morning!! It is a good (difficult for me) book. I mentioned it to the C yesterday and she said it is "almost for professionals". I am not sure she knew what I was talking about... Of course my problem is -like you- I dont have a spouse to...practise.
I have this idea that your wife has made the decision to live as roomates until your financial state changes. I think that is her inner thought process. She is actually stalling the progress becasue she is not interested in it. She "has made her mind, she has given you chances, she has waited, too late now...". I hope I am wrong but that's my feeling. She cant recognise anything, she is in a completely different mode than you are.
That's where an C could help despite the fact she isnt changing now... Love always K
I have this idea that your wife has made the decision to live as roomates until your financial state changes. I think that is her inner thought process. She is actually stalling the progress becasue she is not interested in it. She "has made her mind, she has given you chances, she has waited, too late now...". I hope I am wrong but that's my feeling. She cant recognise anything, she is in a completely different mode than you are.
I am SO GLAD that you got the book!!!! I KNOW you will really enjoy it. I can't wait to hear more of what you think.
I'm glad to hear that it sounds like the scheme with S20 is off the table.
Question: your wife seems so angry and resentful. Almost hateful. what happened in your M that she treats you like this? It is clear that in her mind her actions and her attitude are justified. I am not saying that you are at fault, or wrong in any way. I have just spent so much time thinking about my situation, "why would *my* walkway feel justified in doing what he did?" "what did *I* do to create the situation?" Maybe I missed this in your earlier threads?? Do you feel comfortable sharing this information? I feel like we have narrative on your thread that your wife is a ice-hearted b!tch who treats you like garbage. But what is her side of the story? I doubt when she was younger that she thought, "wow, I can't wait to have a loveless marriage so that I can torture the man I married by withholding all my affection and respect." ???? do you know what I'm saying????????
(((((T))))) I'm looking forward to getting the book. It should be interesting, in any case.
W is angry and resentful. I really and truly can't think of anything that I did that was "that bad". She says I don't support her when she wants to do things, yet she has always had the time and money to do her hobbies, go to school, etc. I haven't always done the best I could with housework. But, still! She complains that she is the main disciplinarian with the kids. If feel like she took that on herself, and won't let go of it, anyway. She reminds me that before we got married she said she didn't want to become the stereotyped domestic housewife. She ways that is what she has become, but it sure doesn't seem that way to me. She has a resentment of men, it goes deep, and I don't know where it came from.
(((((T))))) I'm looking forward to getting the book. It should be interesting, in any case.
W is angry and resentful. I really and truly can't think of anything that I did that was "that bad". She says I don't support her when she wants to do things, yet she has always had the time and money to do her hobbies, go to school, etc. I haven't always done the best I could with housework. But, still! She complains that she is the main disciplinarian with the kids. If feel like she took that on herself, and won't let go of it, anyway. She reminds me that before we got married she said she didn't want to become the stereotyped domestic housewife. She ways that is what she has become, but it sure doesn't seem that way to me. She has a resentment of men, it goes deep, and I don't know where it came from.
I'm gonna swing hard and fast here, OJ...
I want you to at least be honest with yourself if no one else.
Prior to coming here and learning new things were you generally lazy and submissive?
