Yes it absolutely will depend on how he is feeling. If he is depressed he will either reach out for you or shut himself away completely. Oh I so went through the get close and then run scenario! I know how heartbreaking that is. H used to come round for dinner and watch a bit of TV with us and I would sit close to him sometimes with my head on his lap - he would never touch me but seemed not to mind this contact. Then at 9pm he would jump up like he had been burned and rush out.
Hang on in there you are doing so well. He once said to me that he felt like he was in a rushing pool of water and he was floundering but I was the rock and he knew he could reach out and grab hold. Not an easy place to be and sometimes I really resented it too. Where was he when I needed him?! If I can be any help or comfort to you I am only glad to do so. Did you find the other forums helped at all?
