Please send me good karma!!....I'm gonna need it!

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, {{{{SMW}}}}

Thanks for your good advice. Yes, S17 has been in counseling for several months, as have H and I. S17 actually asked to go. He is actually unusual in that he is able to talk about things that many kids his age don't because he has been exposed to couselors and such from an early age due to D24.

S17 indeed is hurting and he has been through so much more in his young life than any kid should have to. He is very tenderhearted, even though he puts up a good front. He has stuggled with school work for applying himself for years (he has ADD and mild Tourets Syndrome, in addition to emotional issues from the molestation). H's answer to all this has always been "tough love" and it may have gotten some physical results, but it has also gotten detrimental long lasting emotional results as well. I think that S17 needs quality time with us, but H does a couple things and S17 responds well, but then falls short a little and H gives up and says "I'm done!". This has always been the case.

H says I am too soft, and he is probably right. I carry a lot of guilt for what happened to S17 because I didn't see it coming and these are my kids! And as a mother, I take everything my kids do onto me! If they are not OK, I feel I have failed! I am obviously working on these issues in IC too, but it is very hard. I have always tried to support H's position and provide a united front to the kids, but the tough love thing just doesn't seem to work in this case. But, I have no idea what will work!