You are getting a lot of good advice here Frank. Hope you are listening.
Best things I did after my separation:
Go see a lawyer and get some books/websites and get up to speed. The day the doorbell rings and the process server is on the other side is not the day to think lawyer.
Really set boundaries, not just talk about them. Best do it legally - get the visitation schedule nailed. Your kids deserve no less. She has the kids at her place, not yours. On set days, not every day.
Set a budget and who is responsible for what bills. She is also responsible for the kids. Stop paying all her old bills. She is responsible for them too. Maybe 50/50 is not fair but neither is 0/100% if she is working even some.
Those are the minimum.
Interesting you used the word "indifference" a few posts back. Trying to fall out of love Frank? If you figure that out please let me know how you did it b/c I need to know the secret. The best we can do is focus on us and remember the love and come to grips with the fact that they need to move on.
What you are doing is to hang on so tight that you are enabling her behavior. In fact you are hurting her in a way since she *needs* to move in a different direction and your responses are in a way preventing her form doing that.
Finally, where is Frank in all this? You post your W's every move but nothing about Frank except for work.
I asked you some time back what is your five year plan? What is your purpose?
The way you are going I can easily see you in exactly the same place as you are today. With D12 now the new D17 going on D18 and ready to leave the nest.
