It seems to me, from what my H has said to me (and my H has a tendency to be brutally honest, even when it would behoove him not to be), that part of his struggle right now is whether or not to trust his heart to me again. Maybe that's not an indication that he's still in pain, but only that he remembers what that pain felt like and doesn't want to experience it again.
From a guy's point of view, and from seeing the antics of cheating guys, I don't know that it's so much a matter of "trusting my heart to you again". I'd say it's more of indecisiveness about which of two women to pick, the one you know from experience you weren't happy with, or the new one that seems good right now, but you are worried might turn into something else. I think a lot of the words of cheating husbands are saying just enough of what the wife wants to hear to keep them on the hook. Plus, many of the wives on here are falling all over themselves trying to prove that they have "changed". Some going so far as to more freely give sex or act more slutty. It's like a reward to a guy for cheating.
Maybe I'm misguided here, but when the cheating guy is kicked decisively to the curb when the affair is discovered immediately start crawling. It's our nature...suddenly something we had is no longer ours.
Remember...believe nothing of what they say. When it's a cheating husband it's the most true. Stringing two women along is great for them. Yeah, it may be true that it's also a cause of stress, but if you say just the right things, you keep the wife back on her heels so that they don't go on the offensive and kick you to the curb for being a cheater...which is what many are afraid of.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
