Indulging my stylish side....

[sage]

HI Sage, thought I'd reply here...three days since a post on Sage's thread?????

We had a busy weekend...and I've been tied up at work today! I've been thinking about posting all day but just haven't gotten around to it.

It has been REALLY helpful to me to get these messages from CJ, and for some reason he finds it easier to express these sentiments in writing, vs speech.

I never came right out and ASKED him if he was back in this M, or anything like that. I just kind of opened the door and he stepped up to the plate (how's that for mixed metaphors? ).

So...how did you open up the door? Aside from my gunshyness about h saying he's still not sure he wants to be married...is my overall gunshyness regarding asking for support/reassurance. It just doesn't seem as though I put requests out there very well...

I think from your H's actions and loving words, that he would NOT give you an "I don't want to be married to anyone" reply!!!

Well, I'm hopeful that you're right.

Why not give the guy a chance to tell you what you so want to hear? I KNOW that although nothing else tangible has changed, since reading CJ's words, I feel much more at peace and safe in this M.

Do YOU have any icky "anniversaries" coming up?

I knew I was in DENIAL about this...your question prompted me to go back to my emails and find out for sure...8/19/02 was the day h. said "I want a divorce". It was after a fight we had about FF -- resulting in him telling me I was "evil" and "paranoid". Of course, 11/1/02 was the day I found proof of the A for certain.

I just freaked myself out and reread some emails from 8/19 -> DDay -- when clearly something was wrong...h was in EA...but was still partly in m with me. I must be smartening up because I stopped around mid-september. Was feeling badly enough by then!

Sage