Quoting talitsa:
How did you handle it that made a difference?


Well...h was so irked and annoyed but about stuff that had nothing to do with anything I had done. also, he was SO much more irked (IMHO) than the sitch called for. Those two thing made it VERY easy for me to not personalize his anger and not REACT. I listened to his mini-rant, validated a bit, offered a solution or two (including MY going and doing something) and then (realizing that he may not want a solution) said something like "yikes, are you interested in hearing about my ideas or would you rather just talk?"

I think the key was that I kept from personalizing it, from getting emotional and actually kept my sense of humor.

Quote:

P.S. didn't mean to be a bummer with the "law school marraige" comment. He's gonna love sharing all that exciting stuff with you and you'll do a great job supporting/cheerleading him.


No prob. See, THAT was me personalizing an innocent comment! I'll admit a fear of changes to our sitch since things seem to be going so well right now...I'm also still a bit raw over the "I don't want to be married to anyone" comments I heard from h.

Funny, though, last night we were talking about an international elective at his school -- I think it's something like 3 weeks in Sweden and I said something like "wow, that would be really cool if you were interested in going!" and he looked at me and said "honey, I'm not interested at all in that. I don't want to be away from you for 3 weeks!"

(I still think it would be cool if he wanted to go but I can understand not wanting to be away from me for that long -- LOL!!!)

Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.