Tower

[Jayce]

Hey, Kiddo, what're your wife's mom/parents like? I mean besides owning a cute little ankle biter she allows to play on your lap. Really, I love Doxies. Had one when I was a kid. Dog had a sense of humor. Probably why this one sat on your lap LOL.

My ques. has to do w/what kind of attitudes might she have gotten from her mom/parents/family. Were they openly affectionate? Even tho people being brought up to be strait laced & repressed about sex supposedly happened more in my generation, my kids know people their (your) age who are like that. There were parents who objected to sex ed. in 5th-6th grade when my kids were in school. At that level, info was pretty much clinical mechanics of puberty....but they wanted i]MARRIAGE[/i] emphasized, or else . As in "sex is only for making babies, its not fun and don't ever think about it again until you're married!"

That attitude is harder for girls to overcome. Boys eventually can't think about anything else and experiment. Some girls probably never get comfortable with the whole idea.

Anyway, whatever your W's upbringing was, it may have affected her. Or it may not. My H still says very little about his feelings about sex in general. I'm hoping the "Male" book will get him to think about it so he can put some of it in words for himself even if he won't tell me. Its just so odd that both bro's were hounds & he's never been anything close to that.

If your W ever gets to the chapter in SSM about possible reasons for LD, she might have a "light bulb" moment. Without counseling or therapy that's all we can hope for. Trying to be their therapists just makes them mad. Besides, we want to be seen as lovers, not shrinks.

I have no intention of divorcing which is why I'm workin' on the whole libido/health/communication stuff so hard. I care a lot for him and would like to have him around, enjoying life for a long time. I sure as heck don't want to go it alone or do the dating scene. So that's the answer to better with or without him. Have you thought about that? You could wind up with someone who is as HD as you, but you don't love, or is the woman from hell & lose your D & home.

Since men are action oriented and women like to talk about stuff, try giving her opportunities to talk about her day or whatever is on her mind & just listen without offering "fixes" and eventually she may share things you need to know a little at a time. I've learned it'll never come all at once. Just comments here and there that help me picture what's going on in his mind. I can't ask questions about these bits or he'll quit talking. Just kinda add them to the little pile I have to think about.

When you got the comment about still being all over her did you tell her that made you feel like a creep & hurt your feelings? Or ask her if she wants you to leave? Both are wake up questions. Seriously.

Did you send a thank you letter for your interview? Or call to follow up? Make sure they know you want the job. Again, good luck on that.
J