I do not think she would go to IC right now. If I look at the books she is reading they are all about how to deal with effects of divorce (on herself and the kids). She does not even seem to consider reconciliation as a remote option. Like the DR book says, it is trial and error. If it works, I will continue. If not, I will continue to go, but alone.
Yes, the basic point is to avoid conflict in the early stages, which different goals tend to promote. But if you are willing to suppress yourself, things will go better. You will need to be prepared for her to speak in very negative, 'this marriage is over' terms and not react. That will be the key.
We have had a few joint MC sessions over the last month or so. But we both jointly agreed to focus on being better co-parents. So we had a common goal: to be better parents to the kids, whether we got divorced or not.
This kind of aligns with your observation that she is reading about how to minimize the effects of seperation\divorce on kids. That area might provide some good topics for your initial meeting.
In the end, picking topics that are important to your wife will be key to early success. Yes, the content of those topics won't be very enjoyable for you and it might even seem like you are going the wrong way (talking about D like it is a certainty). But just getting communication flowing and making your wife comfortable with MC will pay benefits down the road.
I think you have a good plan. Keep the faith!
My thread, Carpe Diem #4 Orig Thread: Carpe Diem #1
