Thank you for your input. Just to be clear, I am not ready for dating, not even close. But it was something that seemed to work last time. And surely only if I can detach completely, I may feel ready to date. I had a good time yesterday though and even today was still quite a positive day.
Since I do not feel ready right now, the idea was to have a few drinks with a friend (a guy), so just some GAL, but be mysterious enough about it so she might think whatever. I agree with you that it would be unfair to another person to use her to get my W back. That was certainly not what I was thinking. If I decided to have a date, then it would only be after I have given up 100% on my M (and would not be open to working on it anymore).
What made me think though is what you (and Beth and techguy - thank you for input as well) commented about MC. The approach that I had put together in my mind was to let her talk most of time, not to disagree with her, but simply to validate what she says. So I wanted to avoid anything alienating like what MWD describes. I want the therapist to tell her what she would not believe from me and - if anything - I would jump in to defend her. I do not think she would go to IC right now. If I look at the books she is reading they are all about how to deal with effects of divorce (on herself and the kids). She does not even seem to consider reconciliation as a remote option. Like the DR book says, it is trial and error. If it works, I will continue. If not, I will continue to go, but alone.
Some journaling:
Her aunt passed away in the early evening hours. My W called around 4pm today (10pm European time), but I was in a conference call, so she left a message. I had planned to call her back tomorrow, but she called again one and a half hours later. I tried to comfort her and told her how sorry I felt. I exchanged a few more words, but really nothing of importance. I know it is hard on her (and I told her that), even though she had had almost 10 days to prepare for this.
AN
M43 W45, M17 S9 D6 Bomb: 11/11/08 EA: 10/26-12/31/08 ? Retrouvaille: 2/13-2/15/09 Healed, but still heading for D My situation
