One reason this may be so hard for you is the history of "leaving" in your life. Maybe you feel like you can somehow stop this all from happening (again). You hold on so tightly to this hope of reconciliation because you know, first hand, the brutality of being "left". Frank, you didn't have any choices at the other times in your life. You were victimized by the people who should have been protecting you.....for whatever their reasons.
You are not a victim in this situation. You have choices. You can have a very big say in how this unfolds. Try to look at this more from the vantage that you are choosing a healthier life for you and your children instead of it being a situation where your W is abandoning you. Maybe that will make it easier to do all the ground work that is necessary to protect yourself. I know I've said this to you before. There are no "do-overs" in divorce. You've had a lengthy marriage with someone who has mainly been a stay at home mom. This may not go down exactly like you expect. Research. See a lawyer. Soon.
I hope that makes sense. I hope it helps.
And, sorry friend, but Amy does a great job calling you on your crap. Listen to what she is saying and some of the interactions you have with W will improve. Less is more, in terms of your talking "at" her.
Hugs, Spitfire
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
