And I'm Still Learning

[techguy]

Question: Do you believe in your heart that things will be OK if husband divorces you and never looks back?

This is the core to detaching. You have to believe that things will be Ok if it comes to D. Maybe not right away... but someday.

If you don't believe things will be OK, then you will never be able to detach... your fear will keep you clinging to hopes for reconcilliation, no matter how remote and painful.

This is where independence and perhaps even a touch of arrogance helps. I have come to believe that I would probably be happier long term if the divorce happened. Now, I am going to stick to the DB and reconcilliation path as I took an oath to god. And I also owe my children that much. But if God has a different plan for me (divorce), then I will accept his plan and move on to a new life with much happiness.

I believe this and I accept it. And because of that I am able to detach. If I didn't believe it, then I wouldn't be able to detach and I would be in as much pain as you.