Indulging my stylish side....

[sage]

Yanni,

Thank you so much for this kindness and support! Can you come visit me in the US so I can give you a giant hug? Ah, well, a cyber one will have to do! {{{Yanni}}}

I hope SO much that your conversation (IM) with h. went well. I'm looking forward to the update!

Sage (who was feeling down but is basking in the loving support she gets on the BB!)

[shinybear]

You ARE the master!!

Excellent job Sage...do you see how you've come from just recognizing these feelings, to identifying where they come from, the triggers (law school, couple separating), to soothing yourself!!!! and NOT letting it poisen your interactions with H!!!

I am duly impressed....something to shoot for!!! Thanks for your post to my thread

Shiny

[andrea]

Sage:
Never stop posting this feelings that are still inside of you...!!... and you know what... i have the same doubts and scares time to time, you can read my thread, and i hope like you, this fears go away in months or a year... that we can learn to enjoy and live with the doubt and risk that any R, not only ours, have... Yesterday night i have a terrible nightmare... i remember everything of it... and i waked up in the middle of it, and when i saw my h laying besides me, i relax... you can understand whats about the nightmare... so... i think we are normal person..
andrea

[sage]

Hey guys,

Just journalling...It's hard to believe how much effort h has been putting into making me feel good! I picked him up at the train station last night (first night of law school!) and he's been really, really wonderful...thanking me for my love and support, being really affectionate, getting up with me at 5am (yawn!) to go to the gym! I spoke to him a couple of times today before he left for school...really, really nice.

He's got school tonight and tomorrow so I invited him out on a date for Thursday. He said yes!

Sage

[KutieKat]

ooo, curious how you asked him for a date, i am wanting to do that, and i really don't remember HOW!!!!

lead me sage, you are my hero!

kitti

[Hud]

Just stopping by - glad to see you charging "down the tracks" to a better R with your H - sounds like things are going great.

I'm very happy for you.

Hud

[Hud]

re your last posts to my thread, all I can say is....touche - you're one of the best around here, friend.

thanks sage

Hud

[sage]

ooo, curious how you asked him for a date, i am wanting to do that, and i really don't remember HOW!!!!

kitti

Kitti -- well..."date night" is not uncommon for us anymore so I'm not sure I'd recommend the approach that I used for your "first request" to your h. In other words (yes, sage, please restate that ultra-confusing statment!) -- I just said "Is it too soon for me to ask you out on a date for Thursday night? Or would you rather see how you feel about school first?"

My suggestions for you would be much more subtle...

I would start with bringing the date HOME -- rent a video that you think you'd both like...say something like "I was going to watch video XYZ, would you like to watch it with me?". If he says "yes" -- very cool. If he says "no" -- and this is VERY important -- WATCH IT BY YOURSELF.

You could also buy something special for dinner one night (don't go crazy...just something out of the ordinary -- a nicer pasta, takeout from a restaurant, whatever) and say "I was having a craving for XYZ." Then it's kind of like a date he doesn't even know he's on!

Tell him "I'm going for a walk ...would you like to come with me?" -- same idea as the video -- go anyway no matter what he says.

Then....when you've got a video or two under your belt....ask him out to the movies or dinner... something like "I was interested in seeing movie XYZ -- would you like to go with me?" -- if he says yes, you'll need a babysitter, right? If he says NO -- make arrangements to go by yourself or with a friend.

Judging from your recent posts...I think your h will accept an invite soon...

Sage

[sage]

Another great day yesterday...h is so excited about law school! His enthusiasm is catching! He was up early with me, went to the gym, sent a bunch of loving and funny emails, phone calls too! I picked him up at the train last night and he had so much to talk about but he actually asked about my day first! Today, totally out of the blue, he asked me to go out to lunch...but yikes! I'm actually going out to lunch with my old boss...first time I've gone out to lunch in months and I miss a date with hubby! (note: this is actually a BIG deal...one of the "things I hold onto but probably shouldn't" was the notion that h used to go out to lunch with ow but not with moi).

Anyway, he's got his first real night of classes tonight.

I am SO proud of him!

Sage

[talitsa]

I'm so jealous of your H! I always wanted to go to law school when I was yonger, and may even do it later in my life. Most of the attorneys I know say you have to go through law school as if you're married to it for 3-4 years, because it's that intense. Fun stuff though, for us dorky legal-beagle types!