Didn't have a chance to post this weekend and our internet at work has been down all day! I only have a few minutes before I head home...I think I'll get on later tonight to catch up with you all!
This weekend was a good one..lots of positives...time spent together, NO fallout from my doubting/apology (well, except positive reinforcement from h!), lots of ILYs, hugs, kisses, etc. H starting making plans for a vacation to NYC in December(!), read to me from his law books, books for fun, etc.
Today, though, I let myself get embroiled in insecurity and doubt...I couldn't get on the boards to get to you guys!!! I think it was some residual ow crap from last week plus h starting law school tonight (stupid, stupid "he's going to meet someone there and fall in love with them"), then h was gone for hours around lunch time today....I made myself SUCH A BASKETCASE. When I finally talked with him he was SO loving, so excited to speak with me!
Here's another reason why I think I'm such a mess today...
Found out yesterday that one of the couples in the "social circle" has separated. I didn't know them particularly well (just getting together 3-4 times a year) but it totally freaked me out. When I told h...I SO wanted him to take me in his arms and say "I'm so glad we dodged that bullet". (he didn't)
Can you say EXPECTATIONS?
Heck, can you say ASSUMPTIONS (my modus operandi today)?
Can you say "not giving h the space to be who he is"?
The GOOD news is that my mini-meltdown was not visible to the naked eye.
I am so irked at me!!!!
But I'll forgive myself!
Thanks for listening
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
