It will be interesting to see what the counselor has to say about the future, given the new perspective that you've given her. If she is a true professional, she hopefully withheld judgement on just what was taking place until having a chance to meet with you and hear your side. My guess is that what you had to say significantly changed the picture in the C's mind.
Your old wife is gone, and I know that you realize that already. The thing that no one knows is whether or not this will turn out to be a permanent change. It does seem as though many of the "cards" of life are stacked against her right now. I often longed for my ex-wife's family to be as honest about her as your in-laws have been about your wife.
I'm sorry that things have reached this point. Sorry for you and sorry for your children. There might even be a part of me that's a bit sorry for your wife too, because I know there will one day be incredible pain in her life thanks to the path she has chosen.
But it does appear as though it's time to, as you said, [censored] or get off the pot. It is always a bit curious to me how these spouses who undergo these life altering changes speak so strongly about things having been over for such a long period of time, yet they are so incredibly slow about actually pulling the trigger and embarking on this exciting new life they have in front of them.
Stay the course. You know that the most important things are, in this order...
the well being of your children and that they continue to grow into manhood knowing that they are loved, under the care of a man who can model for them integrity and honor.
YOUR well being and continued physical and emotional health. It's time to do what you need to do to protect your heart, your emotional health, and your physical well being. You may well be the only adult in these boys lives that they can depend upon.
You remain a dignified and honorable man despite the chaos that rages around you. You can be proud of that.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
