My kids are S7 and D4. My W has told them that she is moving out to an apartment. They know that they are staying here with me. She told them that some times people do mean stuff to each other and it's hard to forget. That they just don't get along and cannot live together. Bovine Excrement. We've gotten along fine; but maybe there's truth in the "mean things" dept.
I told my S that I didn't agree with what your mother wants to do. However, as adults people are free to make their own choices and I cannot stop that. It doesn't mean that we have to like their choices; just respect them for it. That's all I've said. I do not plan on telling them the reason. When they get older, if they ask; I might tell them some things. The answer they get will depend upon how they ask it and how much they already know.
I'm a child of divorce, I had a suspicion of why my parent split. I was 10 when the split occurred. Later as a young man; my father told everything about his exploits like I was his "wingman." It made my mother furious; but he fessed up to everything. But I was in my 20's at that point.
I think that kids don't need to know the details; they know who's more at fault. Trust me on that. I can see it in my kids.
Good Luck figuring out how to handle this. It's not easy. I just wanted to give some insight from my perspective.
