If he's about to blow his VA Loan benefit on her then it is most definitely your business as his father to offer him the necessary advice to protect it.
Also, if she keeps dealing under the daggone table, that's also your business.
Jeff, do you have access to a mediator? I know a great one, who does his best work in person, but could easily moderate a discussion on speakerphone between you, W, and S20. This could all go away in 5 minutes. She blew it. S20 should not be asked to take sides. Period.
Don't place ALL the blame on Mrs VH. Mr VH responded with this early today if you missed it -
Quote:
The thing with my son is kind of weird. She actually talked to me about it, with him there, after they had started to hatch the plan. What I don't know is how she approached it, or what she told him. So, I need to find out that end of it, I think, before I react, one way of the other.
Put the kabosh in this Jeff. Your S20 should not be used to support 2 healthy working parents separate a M.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Yeah, I knew it was a bad idea last night, but it was out of the blue! I think it was probably one of those ideas that sort of fly through, and usually are, and should be, forgotten. But since thery were both there are the time, and they both think they get something out of it (I assume?), it got a tiny breath of life breathed into it. I think it can be made to go away.
Jeff, this is not unlike my sitch w/ S18. I'm no saint, I've had conversations with him that I now regret. There is a car, one my mom sold to me last December, that I basically used to bribe S18 with. I didn't work, but even if it had, I am sorry I tried. It wasn't fair. I learned my lesson. So, I dropped the rope with my own son. If he chooses to spend time with The Abuser, he is old enough to make that choice and live with the fallout. Now, when we talk, I act 'as if' and he's really bewildered by that. (Who knew you could actually DB your own kids?) love, Goldey p.s. I think you should treat yourself to a movie or a video arcade or something tonight, Jeff. Invite a pal to shoot some pool, or whatever it is you guys do when you gather (I don't really need to know the details, really). Peace.
I think I might go to the driving range on the way home tonight, or maybe stop for dinner somewhere. I want to talk to S20 and get this silly idea extinguished before it gets a life of its own!
I agree with everyone! Do not let S waste his VA loan helping W get a place in town for any reason....nada! S isn't ready to purchase a house yet anyway is he? Shouldn't he try living on his own...renting a place for awhile first anyway? He basically went from your place to the service and now back to your place....
W is not thinking very clearly if she even considered asking him to do such a thing! It's rude, it's not her place to do that!
Stop it before it's too late!
Hugs! BA
Me:43 H:48 M:24 yrs T: 26 yrs 2 kids ILYNILWYA 8-07 - MOW 9-07 H moved out 8-2-08 Back 8-18-08 Affair continues Back home but not emotionally
