aliens undercover: married to the pod

[hoosiermama]

It sounds more like he verbally told these closest people Lord-only-knows what kind of lies and spin.

Your situation is interesting in that in almost every other one that I'm aware of, there's a feedback loop thru which we hear back what the wayward spouse is spinning. SOMETHING caused these people to go stone-cold on you, and your husband is charming and persuasive (think "Satan") .... makes me wonder.

Maybe your atty should depose one or two of these people.

Puppy

Oh, I'm sure it was good spin. I really don't have any skeletons in my closet, so he'd pretty much have to fabricate. Back at the end of August when D was in a wedding, I got a tiny bit of feedback loop. Seemed to me that anyone he thought might want to maintain a relationship with me, he steered clear of. One mutual friend--he's always been very close to H--talked to me briefly. I asked him if he was surprised when all of this happened, and he said "not at all." He saw it coming; why he never warned me probably falls in the category of why no one confronted H. Months down the road he mentioned that H had said he had "reconnected" with an old romantic interest recently, and that was so nice for him. I couldn't swallow that one--I said, yes, they reconnected just before he left. That's why he left. I doubt he believed me, but it doesn't really matter--I just needed to acknowledge the lie.

I think it's a question of natural awkwardness, and either implying or outright lying about why things ended being my fault.

Depose the friends? For what purpose? I don't think it will change anything.

This is so much like an onion--there are so many layers of things to grieve, and just when you think you're in a more stable place, you realize you've just gone down one more layer.