he keeps saying she has all the power, I said ONLY because you let her.
BG, do you think he's scared of what OW might try to do to him if he breaks it off with her? I'm thinking in the financial sense. Do you think that him leaving you is cheaper than him ditching her, now that we know he has a kid with her?
Hey tom!! great to see you! no money isnt the issue, she makes way more than H does. and he gives her money, and gets a reciept, one smart thing he did. the power she has is he has to do things her way or no way, and since he hasnt been legally proven the father, she has control, and she is only doing this now, as he has told me and is still here. its her control of time with him, all of the sudden, he can only see him with her involved, that has changed since he told me. even he admits she still wants him, has offered to keep seeing him behind my back, thats why taking someone with him, was a point he liked when he read them, for his protection.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
BG-you don't know that. You also dont' really know if she is threatening to keep S from him. That is kinda why I said to take a little time to see if he can show you that he wants you without involving S. Of course then he tried to buy you so...
Something is still not out in the open. He is playing games that just don't make too much sense now that you know, unless the whole time he really wanted you to make the choice and you didn't make the one he thought you would. But I don't think that is it or he would have pushed this button a long time ago.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
K i thought about the making me make the choice after last nite, if you could have heard him and the words and names....
he said he tried to include me, THAT is why he fought with me the nite of the babysitting crap, when he told her he was bringing me, she said forget it, you see your son alone or I will find someone else.
He also tried to get him Thurs nite, and she said only if it was him and not anyone else and it had to be at her house. his plan was for us to take him to dinner, and give him a present, we had already talked about that sunday nite AFTER he read my boundaries.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Now, I am going to give you some info and you can take it for what its worth, since i am not an attorney, nor do I play one on TV.
HOWEVER...
She cannot dictate to him the conditions under which he can see the child. He is going to have to petition the courts to order paternity, establish custody and visitation, and also to determine child support. Slapping her with an order for paternity may change her tune real freaking quick, especially since it can be included with a "temporary" order for custody and visitation.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Now, I am going to give you some info and you can take it for what its worth, since i am not an attorney, nor do I play one on TV.
HOWEVER...
She cannot dictate to him the conditions under which he can see the child. He is going to have to petition the courts to order paternity, establish custody and visitation, and also to determine child support. Slapping her with an order for paternity may change her tune real freaking quick, especially since it can be included with a "temporary" order for custody and visitation.
SMW
You said it ALL SMW. If in fact H is this childs father, he has just as much right to him as she does. Since there is nothing in writing or set down by a court of law, she has no power whatsoever other than empty threats. If he chose to go and pick him up, legally he has every right to, especially if he truly is this boys father. This might be a very telling way to do things.
((((hugs)))) to you sweetie.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Good grief BG!!!! I just read my way through your last two threads. I still don't have the entire picture, but based on what I do have all I can say is......WOW!!! You are amazing chica!
Your strength and courage are something for all of us to aspire to. I have zero words of wisdom to help, but I want you to know that I am praying for you and your kids. I don't know if you have seen my thread but I posted a couple of devotionals there yesterday that you might be interested in.
Take care of you sweetie!
((((((((((((((BG))))))))))))))))))
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Settle the paternity thing sooner rather than later. It might give you peace of mind, better direction and level the playing field. OW may have no ties to H after that! My cousin's adopted two year old daughter looks just like her aunt--my cousin's sister(who also happens to be my cousin, if you can follow this)--did when she was two! Looks are one thing, blood is another. Love doesn't pay attention to either.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
Excellent advice LE. But the question, will he do it? Or is it too late cuz he loves the boy. Either way he needs to know. BG-is he on birth certificate?
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
