Some good advice. I know when I go dark on her she comes looking for the light switch its just hard for me trying to figure out what to do when she does.Its as she knows all she has to do mess with my head a lilttle bit and then withdraw and she knows she got me where she wants me.
So, if you know her so well, Garry, why not use her predictability to work in your favor???
THINK ahead of time about how she is likely to respond to some "180" you want to do here, and then think about how you .... THIS time.... will respond. Even ROLE-PLAY it. Imagine yourself being confident, positive, and for once standing up to her and handling a situation better. Plan on how you will BOTH validate her better than you've ever done before AND stand up for your own interests.
I was taught this in a parenting seminar once, and it was great advice. The guy's point was that our kids (and I think this applies to our spouses as well) are, really, VERY predictable. And that we get into problems disciplining them because we almost always act out of the anger of the moment, instead of calmly planning ahead of time "How is X likely to respond if I do thus-and-such? And then how will I respond to her response? How will I handle it this time if she does her usual thing of thus-and-such???"
