Indulging my stylish side....

[sage]

So...I just tried something a little different ... we'll see how it goes....comments from you all?

The day I found out about the a was a friday...I called h from work around 1pm and he wasn't home...I knew with every fiber of my being that he was with her ... it was the weirdest physical reaction I've ever had...I found out that night that they had been together then...the rest is history.

Well, since that time, I've rarely called h from work. It was too reminiscent of that day...well, today (Friday), I called him to tell him that I had made a vet appt for the kittens...he didn't answer so I left a message.

I tested how I was feeling...a bit anxious and fearful but not overwhelming. He called and said that he had been folding laundry in the bedroom and hadn't heard the phone. I said "oh, I thought that phone in the bedroom was hooked up". I didn't say it bitchy but it was doubting and controlling and BEHIND it was all the fear and worry I have.

we had an ok conversation after that but after we got off the phone I felt crappy. So..I called him back.

I told him that I was calling to apologize. That my comment about the phone had been doubting and controlling. That sometimes I still struggle with fear and doubt and that the situation of calling him on a Friday and not having him answer had stirred some of that up. I said that it didn't happen all the time but it still sometimes did and that I was sorry.

He was silent. Then said "ok". I said "well, see you later". He said "it makes me feel really good that you called to tell me that. Even though I didn't know what you were doing with that comment."

okey-dokey.

Taking him at his word, letting him know I was sorry and for freaking out a bit was ok.

Sage