aliens undercover: married to the pod

[hoosiermama]

Well, for me the church thing is awkward because I worked there for 6 1/2 years, pretty much got pushed out by some very non-Christian staff members, and have a lot of unresolved feelings about it all. There are probably a large number of church folks who will be very supportive, but I still feel like a loser, like I lost the good fight. That's not logical, it's just a feeling, and I don't believe it consciously. But it's in there somewhere because it all feels so awkward.

Thank you for your prayer!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

It sounds more like he verbally told these closest people Lord-only-knows what kind of lies and spin.

Your situation is interesting in that in almost every other one that I'm aware of, there's a feedback loop thru which we hear back what the wayward spouse is spinning. SOMETHING caused these people to go stone-cold on you, and your husband is charming and persuasive (think "Satan") .... makes me wonder.

Maybe your atty should depose one or two of these people.

Puppy

[goldeylox]

Mama, I can't remember if I shared this with you or not, but here goes...
I was baptized (as an adult) in 1992, and had never met Satan until that week. The little b@st@rd threw every trick in the book at me to get me to stop.
He came back two weeks ago. Nice try.
It's not that my faith is unshakable, but it's pretty darn close.
Folks that have unmet needs, or who are weak and can be used by Satan, will shock and amaze you. And do it in God's name, no less. I pity them, for they will likely never know that they've been sleeping with the Devil.
I'm thankful that I'm not the final Judge. And, since I am not without blame, I'm very grateful for a God who gave up his Son for my sins.
Sorry for the Christian rant, guys. Normally I don't go there, but in this case, Mama, I needed to tell you that it seems there is more here than meets the eye. I'll ask a couple of angels to drop by and check on you. love, Goldey

[hoosiermama]

It sounds more like he verbally told these closest people Lord-only-knows what kind of lies and spin.

Your situation is interesting in that in almost every other one that I'm aware of, there's a feedback loop thru which we hear back what the wayward spouse is spinning. SOMETHING caused these people to go stone-cold on you, and your husband is charming and persuasive (think "Satan") .... makes me wonder.

Maybe your atty should depose one or two of these people.

Puppy

Oh, I'm sure it was good spin. I really don't have any skeletons in my closet, so he'd pretty much have to fabricate. Back at the end of August when D was in a wedding, I got a tiny bit of feedback loop. Seemed to me that anyone he thought might want to maintain a relationship with me, he steered clear of. One mutual friend--he's always been very close to H--talked to me briefly. I asked him if he was surprised when all of this happened, and he said "not at all." He saw it coming; why he never warned me probably falls in the category of why no one confronted H. Months down the road he mentioned that H had said he had "reconnected" with an old romantic interest recently, and that was so nice for him. I couldn't swallow that one--I said, yes, they reconnected just before he left. That's why he left. I doubt he believed me, but it doesn't really matter--I just needed to acknowledge the lie.

I think it's a question of natural awkwardness, and either implying or outright lying about why things ended being my fault.

Depose the friends? For what purpose? I don't think it will change anything.

This is so much like an onion--there are so many layers of things to grieve, and just when you think you're in a more stable place, you realize you've just gone down one more layer.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

For slander and defamation of character, or at least to the extent that that kind of fodder will help you with your settlement and custody.

I dunno, I could be all wet here . . . but I'm thinking he's told some DOOZIES. You'd be amazed at just how quickly people will turn when they're under oath!

[hoosiermama]

Don't apologize for the rant. It's who we are, it's how we see things; being a Christian is the framework for how we live our lives.

I've kinda been over the whole Satan thing. It worked well for awhile, trying to blame Satan instead of my H. I no longer make the distinction.

[hoosiermama]

Thanks, Pup. I don't think I'll really need it. I think his actions re: D and visitation speak for themselves, so I dont' think custody will be a big problem. In Indiana they generally go by pretty standard guidelines unless there's a big issue in mom's life. I also have a printout of the early email convos with OW (and so does my L) and that will be a factor as well.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

OK. I guess lately it's just that I'm like Neuman, on "Seinfeld," in that one rant scene where he just goes crazy and talks about Jerry's world coming crashing down on him, and something about a "lair" -- LOL.

WATCH IT HERE

[goldeylox]

I've kinda been over the whole Satan thing. It worked well for awhile, trying to blame Satan instead of my H. I no longer make the distinction.

Now that's just plain funny. I just pictured STBX-H with little horns.

[hoosiermama]

Oh, you mean this bit?:

Newman: Alright! But hear me and hear me well, the day will come, oh yes, mark my words Seinfeld, your day of reckoning is coming, when an evil wind will blow through your little playworld and wipe that smug smile off your face. And I'll be there in all my glory, watching, watching as it all comes crumbling down!