Do not be too hard on yourself. So much of this DB stuff is so counterintuitive. I find myself almost frozen in panic sometimes trying to make the simplest decision regarding H. I think this comes from our strong desire to reconcile and great fear that anything we do wrong will ruin that forever.
Here are a few things I try to remember:
No one thing got you two into this sitch, so no one thing will get you out, or ruin any chance of reconciliation (at least not something as small as if, and when to to reply to an email)
DBing is all about trying different things to see what works. If it works, great, do more of the same. If not, note it and do not do it again.
Make no decisions, however small the issue, when you are highly emotional or in a state of panic - nothing good will come of that.
If in doubt, do nothing.
Now, I am certainly no expert at this and have my own struggles every day. Check out my thread and you will see I am up and down daily.
Keep posting here and others will respond. Read other posts and post comments to people, even if it is just workds of kindness and support. We all need it.
