Has anyone verbally TOLD you they got your e-mail, but found the whole thing too painful to respond to you or something? Or you just never heard back from any of them?
What do you mean, your password never "stuck"??
In the beginning, I emailed 3 potential "interventionists"--H's middle brother, his pastor, and the mutual friend I wrote about earlier. The brother was initially shocked, supportive, felt bad about our daughter. But never spoke with H. A few weeks later H called his brother, talked with him and his wife on different phones--who knows what was said. After that when I sent an email "update" (I think when H moved out of the house), I got a "please don't send these kinds of emails because our kids have access to this email account." A couple of weeks later I emailed his wife at work to ask a question about whether a change in meds could set off a personality change (she's a psychiatrist). One sentence answer, discussing comparable doses. I wrote back, asking if she felt comfortable and had the opportunity if she would talk with H about this medication change. Got back a scathing note that said she never mixed family and professional life and she couldn't/wouldn't do that (we've always had those kinds of discussions informally). One more note to the brother--at work--in September letting him know that H filed. No response at all.
The pastor's reply was well-thought out; we talked, once. He took himself off a couple committees working with things H was involved with. I'm still a friend of his wife; I could go anytime and talk with him about anything else, but he does not want to be the guy in the middle, and that's understandable. He did, early in the summer, insist on a talk with H since H hadn't yet contacted him. I have no way of knowing how that talk went.
The friend--well, we met a week or so later and talked. He basically said a lot of things along the line of this marriage was doomed, he wasn't surprised, we'd never been happy (I think H had talked with him at that point). I emailed him (he has no cell, is very hard to catch in his office, is rarely at home) to see if he knew of job openings over the summer, during my search. One-sentence reply. Emailed to let him know I'd found a job. One-sentence reply. And that was that.
Other folks who I didn't lay all that out for (because I really felt that that blew up in my face in a huge way)--well, the ones who were more "my" friends have been there for the most part. The ones I was quite close to who were more "couple" friends--no calls, no emails, no visits. I kind of assumed they didn't want to deal with the awkwardness, but have since found out that they still have frequent contact with H.
I changed my email password a couple of times, but my ISP has always been a little squirrelly about that--reverting to the previous one after turning off the computer, that sort of thing. I eventually stopped changing it because it kept reverting. I did change the "privacy questions"--which is why I doubt that he'd been able to change it without my knowing. The emails he deleted--that was done from my laptop before he moved out, so he didn't even need my password.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
