dealing with infidelity after R

[Scotsman]

Gary,

Just to re-emphasize, don't go down the road of trying to control or change her behaviour by telling her what she must do. Don't run down the OM either, give him as little time and importance in your conversation as possible. Just focus on what your behaviour will be if she refuses verifiable no contact.

If you come across as trying to control her, it is likely to backfire. Also if you "slander" the OM she may jump to his defence and you might actually bring them closer together. So just focus on you ok?

You're basically saying to your wife "you're a person of free will and I have neither the power nor inclination to control your behaviour. However, as long as you still have any contact with the OM I will not work on this marriage with you. If your situation changes and you have a change of heart, let me know. At this momment in time I am still willing to talk about restoring our marriage."

Bye..Scotsman