Just put it nicely that this is your home and the girls' home. She can decorate her home however she chooses, but you and the girls want to do your own decorating. Like Amy said, this was her choice.
Because you want her to feel bad and acknowledge & appreciate all that you do.
Now.
I'm sorry but that isn't going to happen on your schedule.
I guess I had to think about this statement again. I wonder if she will ever acknowledge & appreciate all that I do and have done under great stress. And if she does, will it matter.
I think the bigger question might be why do feel such a deep need for her validation, Frank?
I know that appreciation expressed is nice but why do you SO need it from HER?
Think about it.
It isn't that I need it from her, it's that if she were to start to truly appreciate what I do / have done that would be a possible step for her to see that we can make this work.
Let's face it, I'm having trouble accepting that after all the years together she is just done. Last night when we had this exchange she said that she's "Learning how to communicate with me as a co-parent". She has decided in her heart that there is nothing left and I am not past the grieving, to acceptance.
I guess some people take longer than others. I'm one of them.
I think the bigger question might be why do feel such a deep need for her validation, Frank?
I know that appreciation expressed is nice but why do you SO need it from HER?
Think about it.
It isn't that I need it from her, it's that if she were to start to truly appreciate what I do / have done that would be a possible step for her to see that we can make this work.
>>>> INSERT BS FLAG HERE <<<< because that statement is not accurate. Your neediness is in direct correlation to your lack of self-esteem. Sorry. But it needed to be said and you need to address it and overcome it.
Let's face it, I'm having trouble accepting that after all the years together she is just done. Last night when we had this exchange she said that she's "Learning how to communicate with me as a co-parent". She has decided in her heart that there is nothing left and I am not past the grieving, to acceptance.
I guess some people take longer than others. I'm one of them.
So, please help me accept this is the way it is.
I'm not sure what you're asking with that last statement but ok.
Everything takes time. Especially this. And it's harder around holidays.
I think that IS what everyone has been doing for you, Frank.
Trying to get you to ACCEPT
No one has been blowing smoke up your ass.
Not even me when I try to make you understand how she might feel sometimes.
I can quit doing that, though.
To hell with it.
Become bitter and jaded.
If that's what it takes to get you through then so be it.
Just so you know, Frank, I'm not aggravated with you (although you may be with me).
I'm just not going to mince words, wax poetic or participate in anymore psycho-babble justifications (read - piddly-ass excuses) that only serve to keep you knee deep in this crap.
Just man the hell up and take control of your friggin house!
