dealing with infidelity after R

[garyjlost]

Thanks, Puppy.

You said:
"it HAS to be done cold-turkey"

You and Scotsman seem to be in agreement on this. I'm sure it will be a tough sell to my wife. I think she was very, very close to choosing him over me. She clearly has very strong feelings for him. And the phone records show her calling him almost every day for two months.

You said:
"I speak from experience. I wavered on this, allowed my wife to call him to "say goodbye" and "get closure." First she stalled for two days, then one phone call became two, became three, became an in-person 'goodbye', became a COMPLETE REKINDLING OF THE AFFAIR. "

Yes, that's exactly what I'm afraid could happen here--unless I do what you and Scotsman have advocated.

You said:
"It's okay to validate her -- 'I know this is hard for you, but it's gotta be done,' but don't NEGOTIATE with her. It should be a deal-breaker. Complete no-contact and full transparency."

Thanks for the advice. I'm sure you're right. This is gonna be tough.