And I'm Still Learning

[cotoffgard]

"honesty is the best approach because it is authentic"

You're right in that honesty, in most cases, is the best policy. However, when it comes to DB'ing, you need to think first what will help the situation rather than what will satisfy your own psychological and emotional needs. Because DB/DR is grounded in solutions-based short term therapy, we need to focus on what positive actions we can elicit from our partners. If taking off your ring during your next meeting with H will be too much for you to bear and be more of a distraction to you, then by all means keep it on.

However, think about what reaction the rings (or the absence thereof) will have on your H. If by having them on, will he feel pressured and/or pursued? If you don't have them on, will it relieve some of the pressure and guilt he's feeling and perhaps open up a bit more? Only you can judge. Just know that rings are just objects we impart meaning and symbolic significance upon. Other than that, it's just a chunk of metal adorned with crystalized carbon molecules If you're honest within, you are honest throughout! You don't need objects to dictate your moral compass.

I hope tonight's meetup will be a good change of pace for you! The first 5 minutes will be awkward, especially if you've never done one of these before, but that will melt away over good food and wine! Enjoy, and let us know how it goes!