Hi Jeff Just to let you know I'm reading. Have no idea what direction you should be heading, so no real advice....
But I'd say if you were single and she had moved out you would be able to party / holiday / do fun stuff whenever. So you should start now. I think she needs to miss you. Do something wild - go camping for a week etc. GAL GAL GAL. Seriously between now and Christmas come up with a list of things that you are going to do in the 2009 for you so that you can have fun and meet new people. The more GAL support you can have in case she leaves the better - I absolutely promise the best thing you can do now is to make sure you have a full social life with lots of different fun / new things to look forward to.
I hope it doesnt come to a separation... but I know that the longer it drags out the less you like each other, and the more 'set' she will become that she wont consider working on the relationship. Sometimes a 'shock and awe' campaign is more effective?!?!? Not always though - you do know what's best.
I'm the GAL cheerleader. And you get a gold star for the dietary changes you've made and ten gold stars for sticking with the changes.
As time goes on, I am having a harder time answering those questions.... seriously!
Remember when you told me this when I asked why would you sign your letter "I love you"?
Quote:
They aren't empty, WCW. They are the reason I can write the letter.
Why would you play the same game as W and put your son in the middle of negotiating a separation home for your W? IMO you should approach her and chide her for suggesting such a thing as using his power and credit to her advantage! AND going behind your back to do it!
More snow here today, want some?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
((((((Essie)))))) You know, I do need to do more GALing. I will have to think about what I can do!
Thanks for visiting!
(((((WCW))))) I figured someone would bring that up! It's still true, I'm just not feeling it so much.
The thing with my son is kind of weird. She actually talked to me about it, with him there, after they had started to hatch the plan. What I don't know is how she approached it, or what she told him. So, I need to find out that end of it, I think, before I react, one way of the other.
Snow? It's sunny here. Didn't need a jacket this morning.
Sorry Jeffy-poo, this one might sting a little. Imagine a world where S20 is brainwashed and decides to 'take sides'. I know it seems impossible, but the best thing you can do for S20 is love him enough to IGNORE W's outrageous behavior. If indeed, she is circling the wagons, and you have raised your kids correctly, S20 will eventually see through the charade. And sometimes, even when you raise them right, they don't make good decisions. IF S20 agrees to help W and gets used, he will learn to ask more questions before jumping in. IF S20 helps W and later regrets it, you will be there to pick up the pieces. It's who you are.
Listen closely...Quit trying to figure out what SHE is going to do, because she's going to do it anyway, with or without S20's help. Instead, take that energy and plan your next adventure. You must GAL, and you must do it soon. Your kids are watching. Peace. p.s. The worst part about Thanksgiving was that S18 spent it (voluntarily) with STBX. He's a very good cook, and did turkey w/ all the trimmings. S18 used to be my best friend, I miss him and what we shared. He called yesterday to tell me he will be there for Christmas Break as well. Ugh.
(((((boots)))))) I'm pretty sure that if S20 takes sides, which I hope he does not, it would be on my side. He's been known to roll his eyes at his mom.... well, not if she can see it!
I think that if he does anything it will be because it will benefit him. Actually, I wouldn't put it past him to think that I'd be better off without her, and to help her in order to make that easier.
Expect the unexpected, that's all I'm saying, Jeff. S18 is the LAST person I would expect to feel sympathy for his Dad. He's way too smart, but I get the 'Daddy factor' can have a great pull. This is truly Co-Dependency at it's best. I pray that one day, S18 comes to his senses (said the slightly co-dependent mother). And I'll say a little prayer for your S20 as well, that he uses his brains to do the right thing. Peace.
She talked to S20 last night, I need to get some info from him. When she was talking about setting up two households she was talking about using him as a source for a VA loan. Not sure what the scheme was, and not sure what she told him. I don't think I want to get behind the information curve!
WHAT THE HELL??!!!!
HOW DARE SHE!?
His VA Loan benefit is a ONE TIME ONLY option if I recall correctly.
DO NOT LET HIM BLOW IT ON HER!
It is a trifling, opportunistic b*tch that would ask to use her son's VA benefits for her own purposes!
Oh Amy!!!!LOL, here's me thinking you'd gone soft and gentle. Don't beat about the bush sistah-tell it ike it is. Jeff I have no idea what a V A loan is but I am sure you are getting good advice.
I had only one VA loan myself. I did not use it for over 10 years and when I did it sure did come in handy - low down payment on no mortgage insurance required.
