So...it occurred to me this AM why I think I've been feeling "the fear".... (well, in part).

I think it's because I was looking for specific reassurances from h that we are "ok now"....I was also looking for CREDIT (this is an all too common theme for me! ) Credit for sticking it out, for working hard on myself, for being patient and .... you know...some "I'm so grateful that you ..." thingy.

I'm pretty sure this would fall under Soup's "self-cherishing" category, no?

So...I did a couple of things...I LISTENED to what h WAS saying (good stuff!)...and I gave myself credit...and I basked in the support I find here amongst friends. Probably still a bit "self-cherishing". I'll work on that...

What works? Some things:

1. Remembering my goals of patience, quiet, calm, peace -- in myself and in my m.

2. Hearing h. -- really hearing him

3. Remembering that I DO NOT have a monopoly on the "right way to love" -- in other words, h is showing me his love all the time in his own ways...wonderful ways...when I can SEE it and HEAR it ('cause I tune into it!), I can FEEL it. When I'm LOOKING for MY WAY, I miss the good stuff.

Sage

Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.