I need to tell W that I'm uncomfortable with her 'decorating' the house when she comes over in the morning, or on her thursday visits.
I want to send an E-mail because then there won't be any emotion attached to it.
I want her to know that the morning time with the girls is supposed to be just that, time with them as they get ready for school.
Sometimes she cleans, sometimes she tells them to clean their rooms and other things.
It makes me uncomfortable and I think I should tell her that the girls and I need to create our own christmas traditions so we can heal and get used to living life as a divorced family.
I am afraid I will come across as attacking her or 'keeping her from the girls' during the holidays so I don't want to write it myself.
Thoughts?
1) Keep the mornings before school separate from the Christmas issue.
2) Lose that statement about creating your own Christmas traditions. It IS exclusionary. Simply state that under the circumstances you feel that you each need to plan on your own time with the kids over Christmas because you are not comfortable having a "family celebration". You do not owe her anything more than that. I would not try explaining myself to her if I were you. She left. So she should have foreseen this. If she didn't - tough crap. That's piss poor prior planning on her part, then.
Be careful about what you put in writing.
Be prepared to offer her specific days/hours that she can plan to come get the girls over Christmas.
