Do NOT let her meet with him, or even call him, to get "closure." Think about it: how much sense does it make to use another contact to tell a man that you can't have contact???
Reasonable people can disagree about exposure, telling the kids, etc., and some of the other controversial concepts around here. This is one that I have never, EVER seen work ... it HAS to be done cold-turkey.
If she refuses to do it, then you'll have your answer.
Puppy
P.S. This WILL be hard for her to do, because she has genuine feelings for him, and you have to come to grips with that. It's okay to validate her -- "I know this is hard for you, but it's gotta be done," but don't NEGOTIATE with her. It should be a deal-breaker. Complete no-contact and full transparency.
P.P.S. I speak from experience. I wavered on this, allowed my wife to call him to "say goodbye" and "get closure." First she stalled for two days, then one phone call became two, became three, became an in-person 'goodbye', became a COMPLETE REKINDLING OF THE AFFAIR.
