Hey all,

Wow. Thanks to new and old friends for the visits and support! Would you all be disappointed to hear that I'm stuggling today? Just feeling anxious and a bit leery...hard to admit but too frequent thoughts of the ow (paranoia -- are they still in contact, etc) started last night...continue today.

BUT, well, just 'cause the same old thoughts and fears have come around...well, doesn't mean I have to treat them in the same old way, right?

Still got the positives. Still got the "control what you can control" mantra. Still have me in all my glory.

So, what's a 180 here? Taking care of me and my thoughts...feeling the fear and not freaking out....it's OK to feel anxious sometimes. OK to just not know.

3 positives from yesterday:

1. h and I went out to celebrate an anniversary of sorts. Had a great meal and some very nice cocktails.

2. We had a really nice conversation about a lot of stuff over dinner...

3. h thanked me for "the date"

Sage

Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.