Whether, what & when to tell kids?

[Little Engine]

My kids have it pretty much figured out. I would suggest that you don't share that information. You can't cross a bridge you've burned and the fewer people that know make it easier for R when the time comes. Kids understand when their is a problem, and it is better to let them ask questions than to spill it out there. I think it is good for kids to know that parents make mistakes and can be forgiven, that is part of being human. However, it puts the kids under a strain when they are forced to make a judgement call on a parent. Very painful, and very damaging. My S9 knows what is going on as I am out of the house and OM started coming over within a couple of weeks. S has been very unhappy with his mother over her actions. I would give them what they need to know and let them ask questions. You and W need to discuss it with them together so there can be no backbiting later. You don't want to pit the kids against their mother, you don't want her doing that to you. They need both of you at a time when the world they've known since birth is being reconfigured.

LE