Even with everything gone, if she lets her mind go there, she has continuing WD over and over. I still have issues, though few and far between. It doesn't take much, really. Those TV shows are the worst. She's kinda just getting through the day right now. She hasn't done the work really needed, or had those needed talks with you yet. She's just running around "in her own head" right now and trying to get to a less emotional place about the A.
BINGO. I guess what remains to be seen, however, is whether or not one can TALK a stubborn, still-foggy wayward spouse into "doing the work," or whether that has to come from a personal decision born of true repentance and conviction.
I'm skeptical. One of the very tough things I had to learn in my sitch is that only by ACTIONS can we judge others, and only by actions can we ourselves persuade. I like to fancy myself a wordsmith, and I used to think (and still have to fight the belief) that if I could only string together just the RIGHT combination of words, said in JUST the right sort of way . . . why THEN she'll HAVE to love me!
Wrong. You can't convince another person of anything, at least not when it comes to matters love and sex, I am convinced. All you can do is lay out your own personal boundaries, and let them know that whatever they decide, you will then base YOUR decisions on THEIR decision.
Imploring her is not going to help.
Puppy
Hence my thoughts that the only chance our marriage has is for US to move so she doesn't have the constant reminders OR for S16 and I to move and she figures it out on her own.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
