When THEY let go of US

[ACJ]

I've been there a while I think

[naej]

I have been there for years and it,s not so bad. You just look back and remember the good times but Know that those good times will not return, too far gone, too much water under the bridge whatever and it doesn't stop you from living the best life you can.

Eventually you will be glad you had those good years, many never have that at all.

[glamgirl]

I think for me Cinders it was the realization that I had to go on and live my life. I couldn't stand idily by and wait for h to come home.

As I grew stronger and more confident in who I was, I didn't dwell nearly as much on worrying what h was up to or what his words all meant.

By me not being cold and resentful I think has brought my h closer and closer. My h has made huge progress as of lately and the more I love unconditionally the closer he is drawn to me.

He is not home, but I am hopeful for the future.

[LL44]

Did you all get to a point where you still missed your spouse, but knew that it was just highly unlikely he/she would be back, so you just start living your life..with maybe a far far away hope, but 'knowing' better...??

Yep. Totally and completely know what you mean.

[bambam1970]

I understand too. The thing for me was that when I really let myself start living my life, I found things that I never knew existed. Now, I've outgrown my ex. I don't have those feelings for him that I did when I was DBing. When I let go, I moved jumped forward.

I cannot even imagine being married to him now. We are two totally different people - I have very good memories of the early years and can talk about them and look at pictures and not feel sad. We don't have a relationship now b/c he is still stuck in his own mess. He hasn't moved forward or healed at all. But, someday he will probably be better and then we can be friendly. His mess isn't holding me back anymore.

Anyone feel like this?

[Cinderellaman]

Rough day...

H is out with his ow and 2 of my friends and their H's (business related to H) they are off to see the Cirque du Soleil. Ouch.

Today, I hurt.

[Truelove]

Hi Cinders,
Thank you for your kind posts on my thread.

Did you all get to a point where you still missed your spouse, but knew that it was just highly unlikely he/she would be back, so you just start living your life..with maybe a far far away hope, but 'knowing' better...??

Yes, I am still there! But thankfully, I learnt how to enjoy life without H.

I can imaging how much you hurt regarding H and OW going out with friends.

Have a good week and take care. ((((HUGS))))

[MissH]

((((((Cinders)))))) I know exactly how you feel, I am sorry.

[ACJ]

So do I. I learnt very early on that actually those people are not my friends at all.

[Cinderellaman]

Should love truly be this hard?

I see so many of us LBS's trying hard to not rock the boat, to keep afloat, to cope with all the pain and suffering caused by the leaving or affair of an MLC'er...but should Love truly be that hard?

I often lay and wonder if there is ANY reason for all of this...if God truly has a plan and sometimes even if there even IS a God...because, how then, is everything explained? How do we explain the pain and suffering in Africa, the deaths of children with incurable diseases...car accidents ripping entire families to pieces....plain crashes and so many other cruel and horrid things that happen to us...is this all for the greater good ?!

I wonder...

Sorry guys...struggling to understand why and what for !