I hope you had a good Thanksgiving, even if you did work thru most of the long weekend. So now it is back to school. OOOOOOH happy Days!!! It will not be much longer and you will have some more time off with the Holiday Break coming up. Great time to work even more LOL.
Are you calling and /or texting him? OR You waiting for him?
Well, 4 days in a row with the W. She put on three other nice sexy nightgowns to dance in and get her 1 hour body rube downs. She told the 2 kids that she and I were getting along real well and has enjoyed every minute we have spent together.
She usually goes back to her appt. on Sunday night, but she asked if she could stay Sunday night as well. And what do you think I said?????? Why of course.
We got into an R conversations last night. I asked if this romancing is going to become both ways. I have been taking all of the first steps and wondering if she was going to make any steps. I guess I was feeling that it was a little one sided. She said that she should not have warned all of those sexy nightgowns. She had a feeling that it would encourage me and that she really did not want to do that. But she did. Then she said that she should have gone back to her apt. last night inside of staying. She had work to do, but she want to stay with me, instead of doing her work. My Birthday is this coming Sat. and she told me not to expect any sex on that day. She was not planning to offer it and I should not expect it. I told her that I do not want it from her until she wants to give it with to me on own free will.
I gave her breakfast in bed this morning, like the other morning she has been at home. We talked a little more and she pulled back the cover on her bed and offered me to lay down next to her. I did and we laid there for about 45 minutes cuddling. We were both going to let to work, but she kept saying lets stay here for a few more minutes. She said that a two or three more times, so we did. We even considered calling in sick.
After we lift the house for work I past on the road and saw that she was driving real slow and that her eyes were red and she look stressed. I called on the cell asking if she was OK and she said that she was dealing with some issues one the work she did not do, because she chose to stay with me last night instead of doing her work. That is what she wanted to do. On top of that she wants to be with me, but she is dealing with the emotional fallout of the type of activities we have been doing. Like dancing with me in her nightgown (which are very sexy) cuddling in bed and the couch and the full body massages. She love them all and was happy when she was doing it and want to do it, but now she see how I am reacting. She said that I did everything prefect. She has enjoyed everything to its fullest and wants to keep doing it, but she does want me to expect anything in return at this point and it maybe a long time before anything will happen.
I do not understand. I know she enjoys and wants to be close to me, but on the other hand she want to keep at arms length. I know she get turn on when we do these things. I can see it on her face and in her eyes, feel it and hear it. She know the same thing about me. She said that she has felt under appreciated and not loved by me for thirty years and the total number of days we have been doing these things only add up to a week. I told I understand that 1 week dose compare to 30 years.
What the hell is going on?
I do not know what is going on. I plan to keep doing what I have been doing. It seems to be working.
baby steps, give her time...she's scared. she's scared of being hurt and all of this "fantasy world" being just that. and this perfect you, going back to being "the old you." Time, patience, baby steps=payoff!!!!!!!!!! You really are making some remarkable headway. Just keeping moving in the same direction. Look at how far you have come in just 2 short months!!! WOW!!!
As for my sitch, haven't heard from H since turkey day. Just unsure what to do. he's so hot and cold. Our next C appt is next tuesday. So I am waiting to see what I am waiting to see what happens over the next couple of days. If I do not hear from him in a few days, I will probably send a simple text out.
I am really wanting to bring up the atty subject with him at some point. Our atty's both go to court monthly for "case management" which I find to be insanely rediculous. I just think if we are in MC there is no real reason for atty's to be doing this; and I would like to at some point have a conversation with H about this....I'm overly flustered with my atty, she hasn't done the paperwork as I asked her to do a month ago, I have placed several phone calls to her, none of which she has returned, and I constantly get told she is "in court or preparing for trial but we will have her call you at her earliest convience!" yeah...my arss..since that was like a month ago. If I knew where this was heading, I would just switch atty, but since I don't, and don't have the cash to retain another atty...I am unsure what to do...except talk to H about some of it. arrrrrgggghhhh!!!!!
I think you are doing a fantastic job. I wish things were as good in IL as they are in TX!!! I am praying my day will be here soon!!!
((((VS))))) Christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
YOU ARE RIGHT! My sitch has improved 1000 percent over the last 2 months. I guess I should not look a gift horse in the mouth. It is just that it is going so well that, want it to be over so we can start our new lives together. I am like a kid that gets some candy and is want more and more. I will continue taking small steps and be more patient.
I do not know how divorce proceeding work, but your Attn. should be paying more attention to your inquiries. Is this paperwork you are looking for dealing with MC? It sounds to me that you need a face-to-face with your attn. as well. I know, I know, you would are trying. I do not who is worse your H or your attn. At least your attn. should be pay more attention to you, especially since you are paying her.
You may want to consider asking for a face-to-face meeting in your next text message to H. It would be nice to have this meeting before your next MC appointment. I know H running hot and cold is frustrating for you. Think about it this way. H is riding a bigger roller coaster. You know what you want and can focus on that idea. H is still having feelings about you and he is just has a difficult time on focusing on what he wants. If he knew that he did not want to get back with you he would not running hot and cold. It would be just cold.
How is school going? Are you having problems concentrating on your studies? Your course work is just as important to your future as your sitch is.
I think your golf game has just in a rut. You will get a whole in one in the near future.
Finals and my b-day are both next Friday. So I'm preparing for both!!!
I sent H a text tonight...he didn't respond...not sure what is up with that. I'm hoping he was just in bed. However, my mind is going a million miles a minute wondering.
I need to have conversations with both the H and the atty. then I think I will have an idea of where to go. Wish H would have a "come to Jesus" moment and realize we should just stop the nonsense and work on out M...then I wouldn't need the atty!!! That would be the best Christmas and b-day present EVER!!!!
((((VS))))
christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
"my mind is going a million miles a minute wondering."
I know, BELEAVE ME, I KNOW, this is easier said than done, but you need to focus on your studies at this moment in time. Worrying about why H is not texting back will not make it happen. It will not let you focus on your studies. It will not answer your question of "what is up with him". I have been there and done that and it never gave the answers I needed. All of this will come in time. Let's worry about Christa getting through the week of finals. Once that is be hind you, you can worry about the who, what, where, why and how (s)
"Wish H would have a "come to Jesus" moment and realize we should just stop the nonsense and work on out M...then I wouldn't need the atty!!! That would be the best Christmas and b-day present EVER!!!!"
I truly, truly wish the same for you and your H. I hope someone would wake him up and have him smell the roses. I know a few people that may be able to offer your H a deal he can not refuse. Remember what the DB/DR says about being patient. You know that it works. It is just so hard to be patient. I wish I could share some of my good fortune with my sitch to
My B-Day is this Saturday. I will be reaching another milestone in my life. "To young to retire, but old enough to want too." My W will be home that night and planning something, but I am not sure what.
