morning all. windy and cold here today, to windy to hunt on opening day of deer season. oh well maybe tomorrow.
thanks all for you words and prayers, and K wonderful advice as always. yes he new the boundaries when he read them and we discussed them, he knew that us trying to save our M from this point on was going by them. if he broke them, we were no longer going to be together. He didnt have a problem with any of them. he chose to lie and go back and forth between us, for years, yes sometimes just for his son, but also many times for a peice of you know what, he still cant say he does not love her, so he has to follow them, or i will not work on this anymore. I trust her less than I do him of course, because she does want him. and the story changed so many times when he was talking to me or screaming to me about it, she doesnt want you there, its not fair to her, WTF? thats crap, she doesnt want me there so she can be alone with him duh, and to punish me, its for family only, I said well you are his father, but not THIER family. and we are your family, you have many options of someone to take with you, no i cant take anyone I am the only one invited. the day even changed from thurs nite to sat during all this, so I suggested we take him on thursday nite and do something with him, then it was she doesnt think you are good enough to be around him right now. WTF i was gonna be when she needed a babysitter a few weeks ago! he said I was the reason he couldnt be with his son. He was extremely nasty, yelling and blaming all of this deal on me, and i wont even mention the names he called me. he said he even realized she was doing it on purpose, but it didnt matter, he would do whatever she says to be with him. and that they had done things together alone for so long, i was the one being unreasonable. he mumbled something about seeing her family again, all of them together, I said what about your family? me, our kids, your mom and brother? again he went back to that isnt fair to HER! the sad thing is, earlier in the day when he asked me about my present, all i said i wanted was him, no gifts this year, he hung up on me. when he got him, he handed me this big box, and said I hope this will help make up for things, cause this week is only going to be harder on you after today. ok yes the present was nice, but he was almost buying me with it, so he could say, he was breaking the boundaries for the weekend, i had just started to open it, when he told me he was going to go alone to sons party. i quit and sat it away. he has done that in the past when he is going to do something he knows i dont like, he tries to buy my ok for him to do it. I knew he would overdue, thats why i said nothing. i meant nothing, seriously, and he said he did overdue because he thought i would be so excited, that I would have let him go with no further discussion. so that was my wonderful nite. I want ya'll to understand, about the party i didnt say it had to be me, it had to be someone that i trust, the boudaries he said ok to said he wouldnt do exactly what he is trying to do. but I am standing firm. and he will decide and make his decisions.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Bg--H wants to cake eat it seems. Happy belated Birthday! Sorry! I suck!
You've got a pretty good grasp of what you need to do it seems. H doesn't get it. H isn't ready to work on this IMO or be genuine in his efforts. You gave him the boundaries and now he is already trying to push them? That ain't gonna work!
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
Hey LE!! there you are!! I was very proud of myself in my boundaries and how i worded them, especially with the child sitch, I did a great job. and he even said they were more than reasonable. it was the double whammy of already trying to break them, and the trying to buy me into thinking it was ok.
I kinda agree on the cake eating, as if this party deal is all so innocent, what would be the problem with him taking someone along? that is better for me, and honestly safer for him, as she wont be able to try and be on him ya know? neither of them deserve any trust from me, but he will not see it that way, and he wont stand up to her, he keeps saying she has all the power, I said ONLY because you let her.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
