Hi sage, Its been to long since I dropped by last, but it sounds like it keeps getting better and better...
Quoting sage: What scares me a bit is how hard I have to listen to hear it ... NOT because he's not saying it clearly but because of the the cobwebs and noise in my brain (the ASSumptions, expecations, rampant thoughts, etc.). I'm working, working, working on brushing those aside.
Practice ... Practice ...Practice ...Practice ... When you do it often enough it will become habit and habits have a way of becoming second nature to us!
Quoting sage: I'm still scared...that I'm going to get hurt...that I'm going to take him for granted again...that my anger will return, his distance, too...that fidelity will be an issue again...but, I don't know, I feel like I have the tools to get through that...to keep us strong and positive and moving forward.
Oh this is quite commonplace! ... Matilda, Racheal M, Lily, Andy & I went around and around with this last summer, if you were to read our threads back then. I'm of the opinion that ... So long as you strive to remain true to who you want to be, then your spouse will have no reason to again ever doubt their decision to love you. Dbing is for life, and the strife that we have had to endure to reach this stage I believe will always embed Dbing in the forefront of our minds so we would never take anything that so important to us for granted again...
Alot of our old behavior patterns took years to develop to the point of us being comfortable with them to the point of them seeming natural to us ... some even from our childhood. So in relative, our new behaviors born from DBing is way to new to us, for us to be comfortable with them yet. It will take years, like relearning a whole new childhood worth of stuff, before we get comfortable again this time with our new behaviors.
