We are in divorce settlement talks, and her words: I think 5 nights every two weeks is too much (eg, too much time for the kids to spend with me) and I only agreed to that in mediation in a useless attempt to settle this out of court. I will fight in court if necessary to prevent you from being with the children so much. You have been abusive to me and you have been abusive to them. ...I know you love your children, I know they love you, I know that you desire to be with them and I also know that living in an abusive environment is not the best thing for me or them. That's why I left you and that's why I will do what I can to prevent you from having too much time with them. You don't have the patience nor empathy to be a good parent without resorting to abusive behaviors to get your way with them.
This feels totally out of line to me, but I haven't responded. I understand she is very angry; she is now reaching her goal - divorce - and things are not as rosy as she imagined. It's becoming clear to her that she needs to have a job now (!!?!?!?), that she needs to earn money herself. It is also clear that she needs to agree on a firm custody schedule, whereas right now my time with the kids is subject to her whims. (eg, I was supposed to have Thanksgiving all weekend with the kids but Tuesday she "changed her mind" and I had to bring them back on Friday).
It's hard to believe, but it seems she thought she was just going to have the kids all the time, and she wouldn't have to work, and that the kids would see me when she felt like it. It seems she thought I would continue to support the family with my income as I always have, yet be prohibited from actually being a part of the family. Surreal. Anyway those expectations of hers are being corrected now, and so she is angry and lashing out. She is getting the divorce and it is not exactly what she thought. Result: GRRRRRRR!!!!
Whatever. Let her growl. Let her fight me. I won't get angry or vindictive. I won't. I will shower my kids with love and good things will happen! Let her spew. It won't affect me.
