I guess if you're really concerned about what goes on over at your wife's place when the kids are there, you'd take steps to limit the time they are there legally as opposed to just letting her take off with them as she has stated she intends to do.
Why'd you listen to an hour and half long session of her dragging out the dirty laundry anyway?
I mean, why would you keep beating a horse if you really thought it was dead?
Call bullsh*t or cut it loose.
Playing in the gray area for much longer in your case is gonna screw up your kids.
Make a decision like a man
Quit pissin in the wind
Take care of your children
And quit letting the woman that cheated on you and left you to become a swingin' party girl dictate how and where your children are going to be raised.