Let me just say first of all I always enjoy reading your replies. They are very insightful and encouraging. Overall, I'm doing good. A couple of days ago I turned 30 and my wife took me to nice restaurant along with our daughter. I was pleasantly surprised when she gave me an xperia cell phone as a birthday gift. Yesterday, we were at the mall so my wife could get a haircut. While we were walking,she picked up my daughter and asked for a kiss. As she was doing that, she looked at me and said, "is daddy jealous" as she was smiling at me. I took that as a compliment for what its worth.
I decided not to write my wife that letter I was thinking about the other night - just didn't feel right. I was thinking today about what true commitment is really about. When I was younger, I wanted to have all my dreams and goals accomplished in life. I wanted to have it all. Now that I am older, I realize that true commitment requires you to give up certain dreams/goals in order to have a fulfilling and happy marriage. In other words, you can't have it all and must choose what your focus/priorities in life are going to be. Ironically, while commitment does bear a sense of loss, it is only with commitment do we really find that we have it all. In other words, that sense of loss is no loss at all when compared to what you gain.
Slowly, I'm beginning to dream again about the future and not so much about the big stuff, but the little stuff such as holding me wife at night while we listen to the rain or helping my daughter with her homework when she starts elementary school. God is really teaching me on how to love and how to die to self. This is a process, but one that I am becoming more thankful for each day despite how seemingly difficult it may seem at times. More than ever, I realize that love is a choice that must be made everyday, a choice that is often tested with all of life's inconveniences and trials.
