Hi TxMom and everyone, this is one day tomorrow. We will survive and hopefully thrive.
My older D went out with H yesterday and she told him that since he will not see any of us for Christmas that he should spend the day with his 2 girls. So now he is coming. I texted the time for dinner at 3 (which was on purpose because the OW is a big Dallas fan and the game starts at 3:30). So H sends me a text back saying why is dinner so late. So I send a text saying we are going to the gym in the morning and coming home making dinner. I am sure OW is mad that we are cutting into her time. Oh well. I am nervous about H coming but I plan to be on best behavior. H has not been inside the house for more than 5 weeks now. Should be interesting. I wish you luck tomorrow. Take care.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
SS you are so right. That is my biggest downfall, I am always explaining myself. thanks
All have a great Thanksgiving.
Maybe I will add some ex-lax to the gravy...teehee
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Not no ex-lax but maybe put some roses in the kitchen with a card saying , had a good time the other day, on the counter,that will keep him guessing. You dont have to be rude to him but make sure he understands that life moved on without him and some changes happened and dinner time might be one of them.Try to do things different when he is there,so it doesnt seem as he never left.Maybe do a little changes around the house. Ask a friend to call you during the time he is there,and talk on the phone while your hubby there,just some suggestions its the smallest things that make them wonder. Do hope you enjoy yourself though
{{{{{{{{[TxMom}}}}}}}}}}} Hope all is well. Think the holiday took the toll on everyone! Keep us posted.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
I guess when I don't feel the need to post every detail maybe I'm getting through the hard days a little easier.. not sure ... I think it is just to exhausting to post all the time.
Thanksgiving was not easy but got through it... H had rough time too ...
Question-
My H asked me to go to lunch thursday to talk... said he hasn't been a good communicator and wanted to cover off schedules etc... (he has to date never asked me to lunch since he left) I asked him what else he wanted to talk about? Was he going to give me D papers... he said NO.... we changed to meet Thursday at 5pm now and having our Nanny stay and watch the girls little late tomorrow.... I'm little nervous..... I know he'll bring up D or selling the house.. who knows..
I'm in this place where I feel I'm obsessing now about H and OW and I haven't done this until recently - last few weeks.. I can't shut my mind off now and I'm having dreams of him.
I feel I could probably never move passed everything he is done but I don't know how to make the pain go away... He is moving so fast with her.... going to her home town last weekend .... still picking her over his kids....
I know what you are thinking "take the focus off of H and OW" I really just don't want to see or talk to him EVER.... how can I stop seeing or talking to him when we have babies?? I feel overwhelming need to want answers from him .... something to help my healing process.. not sure he could really give me this anyhow...
Gosh the pain is unreal somedays....
Me: 38/H:40 M:7yrs TG: 10yrs 2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old Bomb 8/22/08 OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old Moved out 9/22/08
My W wanted to introduce my kids to her new OM; I, of course, said not until after a D. She took OM to her Dad's on Thanksgiving. From what I hear that didn't go over very well. Luckily, the kids are with me and we went out of state for Thanksgiving.
Hang in there. I know how it's easier to deal when they're not around. I love my space now without her in it. I had a real knocker of a night last night; so I'm so ready to be just me and the kids.
{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} TxMom we missed you. I would like to say "ditto" to the way you are feeling. I think that the holidays are putting added pressure on us and it is a painful and sad time. I also am waking up almost every night with H and OW on my mind. I understand the stress you are under.
It has to be difficult worrying about the lunch date. Try to be prepared. Do not bring up anything about D. If H does, remind him that he said there would be no D papers and then say I thought that would include any mention of D either. My DB counselor said if my H wants to meet to talk and bring up D, try and keep the conversation limited to less than 10 minutes and then treat the rest of the time as if he asked you on a date. Maybe that is a little unrealistic but it did make sense when she told me.
Have you done anything with an atty about charging your H with Adultery? It will definitely help your case if he wants a D.
the most important thing is breathe, breathe deep. I know some days are worse than others. It is tough for me since I can't get away from this even at work since they both work there... take care...
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
so you are saying if he brings up D I should just tell him we agreed not to talk about it until next year?? He could say he has changed his mind... What else did the DB coaches say??
I feel right now it is hard for me to play like we are dating or too nice.. I"m too hurt and emotional right now...
MC I will read up on your thread tomorrow....
Me: 38/H:40 M:7yrs TG: 10yrs 2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old Bomb 8/22/08 OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old Moved out 9/22/08
