Have you considered going to Alanon? I don't think you and H are going to make any progress in piecing until your H is sober and working on his alcoholism, if he is indeed and alcoholic. But, of course, you can't make him see that. That's where Alanon comes in. Alanon helps you to detach and take care of yourself much like DB does, but you learn a lot about alcoholism in the process.
