Thanks for your reply. I wish I had been able to get back here sooner, as it is I am using a computer at the library because my one is bust.
I raised the alcohol issue with him when we first got back together. He just said don't even go there. I just don't know what to make of that reply. Does it mean he is aware and would rather I left him to work his own way out? We always have our worst fights when he has been drinking too much, he is a very sober alcoholic in that the alcohol appears to have little effect on him, but it is insidious. Suddenly some unprovoked nastiness will come out and I have no idea why. Then later I will find the evidence - two empty wine bottles instead of one or whatever.
I think it is a huge part of the problem with us. He is using the alcohol to mask his pain, he doesn't really know what his true feelings are about anything which is why he is indecisive, moody and feels like he is being stepped on. I bend over backwards to try and hear him and find out what he wants but sometimes I feel like he has so lost touch with his feelings that he genuinely doesn't know. Then when it turns out he hasn't got what he wants he blames me for stepping on him.
I will check on your sitch soon.
take care
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
