It has been quite a positive day. I did not even think of (calling) my W. I have been busy working, getting the kids to and from school, and as I indicated in my last thread, just got busy trying to figure out how dating actually works in this country. Since I met my W in Germany (and dating is really completely different over there), I kind of feel like Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle having no clue how to go about that. Not that I am anywhere close to being ready for it, but it was something positive and just thinking about it must have released or amplified the endorphins I got from running today (did 7.5 miles).
It almost seems that this would accelerate the detaching process quite a bit, but I am afraid it might or most likely will result in "non-loving detachment". That is not what I want, so I am trying to figure out how far I can go with this. At least, I got a positive day out of it, and I am much happier than at the end of the last two days.
Christmas is definitely on my mind a lot these days. On the one hand, I imagine in my mind that on Christmas day I wake up and everything turns out to be "another nightmare", I kiss my W and we just enjoy the holidays. On the other hand, I can already feel the tension building up and it makes me feel sick just thinking about these two weeks. Well, at this point I guess I have to take it a day at a time. When she comes back on Sunday, my first priority will be to get a MC session on our calendars. Hopefully, her agreement to go with me has not changed.
Thank you for checking in.
AN
M43 W45, M17 S9 D6 Bomb: 11/11/08 EA: 10/26-12/31/08 ? Retrouvaille: 2/13-2/15/09 Healed, but still heading for D My situation
