It seems that as long as you are dedicated to be patient and then watching for opportunities to connect with him - that may be all that is in your control in this R right now.
I was talking to my roommate yesterday, being still and watching, but also being and feeling positive is a very good thing for me. Inside, I want to do what the world tells me to do regarding 'A'. However, I really do think that as difficult as it is, it is important to me for 'A' to initiate. As I have watched this new pattern unfold, it gives me a strong feeling of relief. Even though it is a roller-coaster ride, I can look back and see that I/we have accomplished some goals.
Allowing 'A'to walk toward me has given me strength to trust him. I feel that we are just starting to form a new behavior. Standing back is tough for me. While being still, I have seen movement on his part. Each time, he looks for me and initiates, it gets easier for me. I am starting to wonder if the watching and waiting period will get smaller and smaller.
So, I think I made a good decision. I don't feel so powerless as I thought I was. I am now starting to feel a good sense of control. My goal was for him to want to initiate and connect with me. I have fought the urge these past few months, but being still (even though quiet) is still a positive movement. I like watching him make his steps. I think it will get easier as he gets closer. I want to continue on this path.
