Is she is or is she ain't (my baby)?

[sleeper]

Feeling down tonight. Not exactly sure why. Could be because I don't have the kids this week or it's the second holiday season with a broken family or both.

The kids said a couple of interesting but sad things last week. Out of the blue they asked me if I would marry X again. I told them I would as I believe honesty is the best policy in such matters. They both became very excited, DD saying she could be the flower girl and DS saying her could be the ring-bearer. They went on to say how neat it would be to be present at your parent's wedding. That made me laugh and I agreed, telling them very few children get to be at their parent's wedding. They haven't said anything in relation to our breakup/divorce in a long time (I don't bring it up). This made me aware they still have hopes for our reconcilliation.

The second thing was Sunday when I was feeling down. DD asked if X and I were fighting again as we fought the day before on the phone. We haven't fought in a long time unlike in the beginning (anger stage) when we were fighting constantly. I told her no, it was just that "I'm still in love with her and I get sad sometimes because I miss her." DD said, "You should tell her you're still in love with her." I responded, "She knows I am but she's not in love with me anymore."