Hi - Today I am ok. Little resignation creeping into thoughts and I am not so obsessed as saddened but my sitch.
I have to learn to keep everything real. H oing out to an xmas function on Friday night. He has implied it is OW but did not confirm. He said dont ask questions. Hmmmmm well if it is hers then so be it.
I havr Db successully these last few days. Something to be said by faking it , because when he left home last night after seeing kids I felt good.
When he arrived , i immediately went out to gym. I spent an hour there and came home to find D 18 in tears. H had talked to her etc etc.
He then told me that he feels so distant from them ( his doing , only he does not see it ) That hurts me for my childrens sake and the thought that he would seek comfort else where.
I offered suggestions and then realised that it is not my problem. I was upbeat, laughed and then went and showered. He said on his way out , that i seemed much better, i replied that I was feeling better. He did not seem so thrilled and he commented how I had lost lots of weight and that I could tell by his look that he liked!
To F*&^en bad for him.
Well I say that with conviction today ...... who knows tommorrow and Friday will be tough.
I have never not had a man at xmas . Is being alone at this time of year a good lesson? i think it will be a tough christmas! Although i have family and kids.
