Should You Be Their "Best Friend"?

[forward]

Why would you want to be married to someone you don't want to be friends with?

This becomes a hard question because you have to face your own anger and resentment.

DB C told me that you have to let go of anger, then friends, then romance, and then you can talk about your hurts and fears.

I think that one reason that going dark is so good for the LBS is that it allows us the space to begin to forgive things. It forces you to move on, and you stop watching every little thing the WAS does. This is important regardless of what happens. During the dark, which has been for a long time, I found other things to do. I had to!

I am keeping things all business and polite. If H is friendly, I am friendly back. This is where the neighbor-over-the-fnece thing is good. I am pleased with being dark, for my own health, my own reflection, my own growth.

And my own dignity and compassion. I feel sorry for H now, but I also recognize that I am worth making an effort for. So I wouldn't fall all over him even if he did show any interet.